my life now that I am different

What are we up to? Been decades since I last wrote. I don’t even know how to start, or if I still know how to write. For my sanity, and to prove a point to myself, I am writing this without any help from AI.

I’d like to go back to times when writing was a pure out-of-thought exercise, a means of utter expression and stories. Raw, not twisted and perfected through online generative capabilities.

Well, much has changed; no, a lot has changed since then.

Doing my after-work studies – enrolled in April of 2026

 

Life took the wheel, and I went along with it; though I can say I am where I wanted to be and where I am supposed to be, navigating these years wasn’t easy. I have shifted to focusing only on goals and feeling like life is a race against time; I often forget that breathing is a necessity, and that sometimes I need to let things run their course.

I have succumbed to the idea of living a fleeting life, and I have overlooked that I crave simplicity deep down. Don’t get me wrong: I like that I get to live the life I want and have choices at my disposal; not everyone gets that. What I have is a privilege. But you see, I’d like to bring balance to that narrative. I have privileges because I work hard for them; I am hard-headed in ticking my life list year by year, as if it’s a game and I am the only player.

Weekend breakfast at Angels Cakes in Dubai Hills

What I am saying is, I built myself from scratch. Between where I started and where I am now, I’ve sacrificed a lot, including parts of me that now feel like strangers. It’s not easy.

People see me in a certain way that’s quite far from my reality, and that’s okay. I’ve no desire to justify who I am. Some people hate me for being laser-sharp with my opinions; some people hate me because of stories they heard; some people love me for what they can get; some people love me for my point of view, but none of these ever matter to me. Either people love me or hate me for whatever reason, but those affections don’t fulfill my being.

What I value are people who stick with me through my mistakes, have the courage to curse me to my face, and help me get back on track; people who have been with me through my hardships and haven’t chosen me because of what I can offer. I keep a small circle, and now I am smarter about who I let into my life. And so should you. Trust me, I have kept people who call themselves friends, and when I slipped into life, they started running and murmuring.

Flowers I bought to give to my cousin who’s arriving from the US

Nevertheless.

This is the first entry of this blog, and I am beaming with joy to have finally written something again. And yes, happy that I can still write without AI intervention.

I have a lot I want to write and share, but if you’re reading this, you’re in for a ride.